Will itself can be at those points of clashes and also in those moments before those clashes
Before those bedazzling stage lights, before those crowds that were either with or against you, but you knew you were already trained instinctively to perform, to go against the current and to go all in, knowing a defeat or to be unable to withstand even the heaviest or heaviest blows to be too humiliating, maybe believing the Heavens meant for you to battle with its will ! Before those dazzling light you have to train with your will. I trained then for the ability to inflict devastating powers and to withstand heaviest of blows, I never cared of of my looks, or how people viewed me, because I understood one thing, when you have achieved glory, fame, power and money, the world views you differently in a positive way. Maybe, it’s that charisma from the social capital that you have gained, or that final powerful card that you now have in your deck. But, maybe all along I had only wanted greatness, never did I care for the validation of lay men of boxing. Maybe only those true-hearted and kind lay men.
I read online on my used iPhone 3 passed to me from my older uncle, during my secondary school years, that push-ups and not gym muscles were essential in creating true power and withstanding pure forces so I did as much as I could of them during those times. In school, those times, that I could have squeezed in and tricked my way out of those assemblies and classes, in those toilets, those recesses’ fields and back home in my room and home toilet before showering. Once when I kept asking for the toilet during my classes which I found to be unfulfilling of my ambitions, I went to one of the same boys’ toilet, at the end cubicle, a squat toilet, I was doing push ups, a classmate eventually saw and said I was fucking, masturbating myself with the toilet bowl, I didn’t care much of those words, they laughed, tried bullying me, but can they bully me, I been through worst before, what would these dogs have known, they only knew to lust over those Saint Andrew’s Junior College girls, just because they were in short skirts, did they know the grandiosities of this world, I laugh. I was already tough from those beatings from my mother, I never feared anything after those years with her anymore, I wanted the stages, I knew then, I didn’t want to just be an ordinary man among the crowds, some are happy with so, but I knew I had that will in me, I wanted exceptionality, I wanted the skies, maybe I had known then already all known already, that I had the will for but for the highest of the heavens !
My legs were from running the trials of the MacRitchie Reservoir and among the once straight roads between Marymount, Ang Mo Kio, Yio Chu Kang and Khatib. Maybe winning a 5km or 10km in the world stage were among my once grandiose dreams. I did qualify for a place in old MacRitchie Reservoir Runners club, running below 25 minutes for a 5km at like 13 or 14 years old, but I had forgotten why I didn’t joined and participated in it at the very end. I never knew to rest and recover then, I was too fearful of my aggression and fearful that any laziness will take over me, I might had some mild schizophrenia then already, but my will never did waver irregardless of any waves that were roaring against me. I was wilful ! Always was !
Maybe an adventurer, I always was, I did take many risks during those years, but I did my calculations too, I knew to understand strategies, to take note of the refinement, adapting of and creativeness in them in those early years already. I trusted the Heavens with not even the slightest pinch of betrayal as well, during those, funny years as well. Then, I didn’t betray his will for glory and for righteousness, not now, never now !
I don’t really like mentioning those years, they were extremely wilful, I never did allow myself to recover then as I didn’t know about it and I also didn’t have enough pocket money as for psychological warfare to reward myself with some sporty healthy snacks – they were all from Western countries then, too expensive for me. But I never did forget those wilful years ! Those years will always exist among stubborn and dare to dream of the world men like us ! I did dream during those years when I was still among the crowds, but a silly face among the crowds, but with already that unconquerable eyes, I still do remember.