Author: On Zi Rui

Titled: The world was only worthwhile to be taken when you had became of it.

(The world and all its glamour couldn’t had taken the place of you. That was not only so then, but also so now. I still think of you in every of those pathetic, lonely, aching nights, do you still know what’s love, my dear ?)

我为了她能彻底地给了我的一切

可她就是这么地没珍惜过

若能再见到她的眼眸，也没什么可惧了！

Without you, seemingly, the world is but one lost one, craving for that light.

I can’t do without you, do you know that ?

Never was I deserving of the world 

I knew. All along, I knew of it.

But when you became it 

I told myself that: “I want this whole whole fucking big big world !”

How laughable it must had been to those nobles 

You were in my eyes which were but pathetic, all of the grandiosities of this world 

But I was wrong. Fucking fucking wrong. Never was I so wrong, never had I fucking deserved you

Hahahaha ! Jokes on me ! 

But did you know ?

I did love 

Truly did love of that you 

You were once in my every every fucking dazzling, glittering ones, those dreams, I couldn’t but forget !

But in those ends, I fell so hard, for just so thinking that I had the rights like all other men of ever dreaming of those possibilities of me with you. 

In the ending, that wasn’t that fucking me and you, did you also came to realise of it ?

Author: On Zi Rui

Titled: You were there all along with me when the world didn’t but see that true me !

(She was called an ‘Ice Queen’ for all there was in the world. Maybe, she really was. Maybe, she was ever only the nicest to me, I didn’t know what I had done to had deserved her kindness. Maybe my poems and story had moved her, but I didn’t give her an ending when I found faults with her, it likely due to my unmedicated and undiscovered yet schizophrenia and that I hadn’t truly seen the world before, that was then. I am trying really hard to make up things now and I hope these words below will be but me telling you I didn’t forget of my faults. I will never forget of you Maria, you were there with me when the world but laughed sinisterly. Everything in this world, without me knowing that you are living happily, won’t matter, because it was that you there when I was just a nothing.)

From me to you :

I will never forget those years. You were so high up there then and there, you know ? You didn’t have to be nice to me, but you did, and every possible way to say thanks shall be said to be so to you. Thank you for those years, when I had nothing, I am sorry for everything that I had done to you when all you had wanted was for me to love you. I didn’t love. We didn’t came to be. Goodbyes. But the final touches to a love that was nothing but real. Real, you know ?

(You needn’t the world to understand why you were nice to me, then, and I will never forget this kindness, that was a once, a beautiful once. You must be happy ! I can’t see you not happy, you know ? I can’t forget those years, still ! I can’t !)