To Hannah Richards, the girl that I so wilfully and foolishly chased after, maybe all along I was just hoping for some kind of chance: 

In the end, we didn’t ended with each other !

You were that Oxford white girl

I was just that chubby man who didn’t even graduated from some un-prestigious Bachelors

You were always the most prized prize in those deepest feeling of mine 

You didn’t have to understand my those feelings of insufficiencies – a girl like you – I can only dream of – we were never meant to be together – you are too good – I was never good enough for that you – the laughable thing that I never knew was that you did have feelings for me – but was too afraid of getting rejected by that sometimes also un-reciprocal me, maybe it’s all because I was too tired from my blue-collar additional job, I was hoping to catch up in the game of getting a house before marriage, and always felt you deserved a big big house ! I am sorry for being like some dumb stone during those days. You were really precious to me ! Nothing did take away the preciousness of you to that rugged me !

You were a princess, meant for some princess happy ending 

I could never give you it, I am sorry !

I tried fighting the waves of fate, but I never was great enough to overcome its voracity ! Alas, I was washed ashore when all I had wanted was to be brave enough to tell you: “ Hannah Richards, I On Zi Rui, will only love you with all my heart in this life and everyone after ! I love you, I really do !” But I knew what position life had given me, I dared not, I fear you will laugh at me, I fear you will despise me, I fear I can’t give you happiness ! It’s all you, it’s always been you, never had I loved someone so deeply, so truthfully, I guess we were always meant to had met, because I can’t forget those feelings ! I never did need you to love me back if you didn’t want to, maybe all that I had just wanted was to see you smile ! Without me, you will still find happiness and that suffices ! I never did seek to possess you against you, because that’s selfish, you are the last person in this world that I can bear to be selfish to !

Hannah Richards, live without me if it’s came to so, never look back, as you are a a beautiful formel, I was just that man that truthfully sought to cherish you, maybe those years that I had saw you greater then you were then, will eventually mean something to you in those very ends, I was just never good enough to see through an ‘us’ in the very end ! I will regret it, but I know I will regret more for not loving before ! So I will be brave, you be brave to without me !

When I was beside you, I felt nothing in this world could conquer me ! Those were the happiest years ! Goodbye !